Friday, April 28, 2006

Grapefruits and Other Torture

Dee time has come, my frieenz!
After a rather successful round of GrapefruitTorture (TM) comes a whole series of Tortures, delivered straight to your doorstep! Desktop, whatever.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the tortured creature, please meet Monkey aka. Monkey Poo aka. Booger aka. Boogerino aka. Bubu aka. Foodwhore! Really, you can call him anything as long as you feed him. And even then he won't listen.

Please enjoy: BagTorture (TM), MelonTorture (TM), and SteelTorture (TM).
Thank you.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The Japanese Have Balls

Considering I can barely keep up with writing e-mails, I really don't know why I've taken up blogging. It's been nearly two weeks since my last meagre post! And this site still has no meaning. I wonder if this is postmodern?

I've been thinking about posting a few things here but never actually got my ass to the computer while any form of inspiration was still alive within me. Now is no exception but I thought I should elaborate on testicles anyway.

I've been thinking about them off and on ever since I watched 平成狸合戦ぽんぽこ, Pom Poko. How come our folk tales are so boring, gruesome at best, while the Japanese incorporate all the fun things in theirs?

Like testicles! Come on people, they even make Tanuki FLY! These cute little racoon dogs would be so much less intriguing without them.

So you gotta give it up to the Japanese. They really know their cute, and have a wicked folklore. As for the testicles, it really makes sense. They are undeniably one of the most important parts of our culture and existence:

1. They serve as brains for 3,248,080,000 pepole, that's 50.26% of the entire world's population!

2. In the English language, testicles or balls are synonymous with courage.

3. With a little help from their ovarian counterparts, testicles are responsible for the reproduction of the human race, and much of the animal kindgom.

Think about it, people!

Thursday, April 13, 2006


"...reality seemed to have left me and was now wandering around nearby. I hope it can find me..."

- Haruki Murakami, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, (Vintage, 2003)

Monday, April 10, 2006


All existential questions aside for the moment, I want to introduce you to Hammy the Hamster. I found him through the ever-so-delightful Cuteoverload and want to share him with the rest of the world.

Who needs self-doubts and philosophical enquiries into human existence when you have something small, furry and cute!??

Tabula Rasa

Everyone and their mother has a blog these days, so why not me. It can't be very difficult.

This is where I went wrong.

Setting this site up was easy enough but then came the gaping emptiness of the blank page.. what on earth do I write about? I do a great deal of moaning and ranting throughout each and every day of my life, some of it quite intelligent stuff, if I may say so myself. I should have something to say, something to contribute to the world. I mean, hamsters have their own blogs/websites, for goodness sake (and damn good ones at that)!

But there's nothing, still nothing I want to dedicate this blog to.

No matter how satisfied or unsatisfied you are with your life, this is a point at which you start questioning your existence. At least I do. Is my life really so meaningless that I have nothing to say? And if so, would a mere blog add meaning to my life? Or are bloggers the empty creatures of this world, devoid of human interaction perhaps, and chanelling their time and energy in one of millions of similar meaningless websites? I mean, who reads this stuff anyway?