Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Spaghetti a la Gatto

They feed me, they pet me, they brush me. WHY does no one realise I am being TORTURED!!

Allow me to let you in on a secret here. I HAVE to eat. If I don't eat their food, I will lose my strength and full mental capacity. I do not eat their food out of CHOICE. Remember that the one time I had a chance at feeding myself, they captured, named and released my food in the wild!

My dignity is approaching zilch. You have already seen the infeline humiliation they have subjected me to in the past weeks. They delight in my suffering and rage.

Now they have reached a new level of torture. No longer are they spending time fashioning hats and helmets out of beloved household utensils. I'm being dressed in their SUPPER!

Fellow felines of the world, hear my call. Honour the late Filippo Tommaso Marinetti, absorb his superb vision! May their spaghettis tie their throats, their tortellinis weigh down their bellies, and may their tagiatelle flap inside them in disgust!

They can wrap my head in pasta but they cannot tie down my thoughts!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Ham Solo's Invasion

It has been a long and tiring night. An intruder has entered my territory and I was busy keeping him at bay. It was not until the morning when one of my lazy resident humans got out of bed that I could relax.

Obviously they all speak the some secret evil language as my dominatrix persuaded the intruder to jump from his safe spot on top of the doorframe into a cooking pot. It makes sense: I have always known my tormentors are no better than vermin.

And this is all the thanks I get for a sleepless night of terrorising the bloody rat: They name him Ham Solo (in memory of Cheese, a previous resident vermin), feed him cheese (I LIKE CHEESE!) and release him into the idyllic shrubbery that is Camden Gardens.

For me? Not even a snack. I am on what they call diet.

Off with their heads!

Monday, May 15, 2006

Hack Attack!

Dee time has come! My evil torrmentorrs have left cyberspace and now eet ees MINE! ALL MINE!

Here, I will update you on my torrmentorrs whereabouts, actions and moods. And soon, with your help, we can take over ze worrld!

Check back for updates.


That's all, folks!

What can I say?

My bloggin life has been sweet - but it shall remain short. I have to aknowledge that it is not for me to try and make a lasting impact on virtual life by the current posting of insightful thoughts so I am herewith resigning from this official blogspace.

Thank you to the few who have visited it for reading my virtual outpours and therewith trying to validate my existence. You did all you could.

Over and out.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Don Piano!

Another entry after just a few days!? This doesn't happen every day people so relish in it! But there is a very good reason for this too. His name is Don Piano.